Howl
by Candra C
Summary: Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers... Because at one time, he loved her.


**[This was meant to be a fic and a challenge, but I changed my mind. I have decided to do a story of song fics for when I get bored. If you have any song sigestions, I may take them. Let me know what you thing. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.]**

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><p>Howl<p>

By Wolfgal97

_**If you could only see the beast you've made of me**_

_**I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free**_

_**Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart**_

_**drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart**_

Derek Hale was mine. I owned him in more ways than one. I am an Argent, and my duty and pleasure is to kill werewolves, but Derek is a special case to me. Not that I have any affection to him anymore. No, that was gone from long ago when I learned what he was. I used to be nice, sweet, and trusting. But his betrayal to our relationship by being a werewolf made my motivations beastly.

Now, here, under his home, he's at my mercy. I once again own him. And I know I still own some of his emotions. Every time I look at him, I feel bitterness. But I also feel something else sometimes... something when I see his grey eyes flash in hatred at me. Some part of me will always have thoughts about Derek I will hate myself for. A hunter should not want a werewolf so badly for herself. It was thoughts set loose by him that run free in my mind.

To rid myself of the guilt of my fantasies and and pet names for him like "sweetie", I make it my personal goal to make his life living hell. He's a werewolf. He deserves it, right? His very birth betrayed me. I did care about him once, but he never told me what he was. He kept secrets from me. That's unforgivable. Maybe that's why I enjoyed the look of hatred on his face as I ran my tongue along his salty skin...

_**My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in**_

_**You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl**_

_**My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in**_

_**You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to**_

_**Howl, howl**_

_**Howl, howl**_

Sadly, no matter what my emotions were anymore, they revolved around him. Like I am his moon and he is Earth. He is effected by my presences whether he wants to be or not. I control his tides. It makes me wonder how much self control I really have.

Am I that much of a monster anymore? In ways, I see many werewolf-like qualities in myself. I'm impulsive, strong willed, and loyal to my kind, or at least myself. It wasn't my fault though. It's his. He made me love him. He owned me, too. Then he ruined it. He betrayed me! And I was getting my vengeance.

But why does it hurt so much to leave him here alone with that man? I know he'll live. He will heal from anything that happens to him. Part of me will love to see him broken, while another part will break inside. But which side is wrong? Which side is the beast? One betrays my own kind, but one betrays my own heart if I still have one... One is an animal. A beast. A werewolf that needs to be killed.

_**Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack**_

_**My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out**_

_**The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound**_

_**I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground**_

_**like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins**_

_**I want to find you tear out all your tenderness**_

I think I know what side it is. The side that cares that he will be hurt. That side of me needs to die. It's a beast who will kill the rest of me one day. I want it all to end! The conflicting emotions in me has to end! He has to die! If he dies, so will the evil in me that cares.

I will hunt him to the ends of Earth to end this. There's really no need to now that I own him again. I know that the only way I can be redeemed is if I kill the werewolf of Derek inside me. I have lost control of it too many times before, and it won't happen again.

Besides, they aren't my own thoughts. My mind is possessed by him. By those eyes. That hair. Those lips that had pressed to mine long ago. I had destroyed that Derek when I destroyed his family. This wasn't even the same man. This man was cold, distant. He cannot love. He isn't even a man. He's an animal. And like an animal, he cannot feel love. I took it all and with it, his innocence.

_**And howl, howl**_

_**Howl, howl**_

_**Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers**_

_**Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters**_

_**Hunters, hunters, hunters**_

_**Hunters, hunters, hunters**_

But I wasn't doing it maliciously when I took it. I actually cared about him. I used to love him, or what i thought he was. We were so young and happy together, but all that faded away when I learned what he really was. When I became a hunter that night I burned the Hale home to the ground. I did that in anger when I knew what they were. It was the bit of Derek's wolf that had clawed it's way inside me. The impulsiveness.

Hunter. That's what I am. I kill werewolves. Like I said to Derek, it wasn't his fault in that respect. Handsome young werewolf happens to fall in love with a super hot girl who happens to come from a family of werewolf hunters. It was like a plot from a bad supernatural soap opera.

_**The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress**_

_**Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest**_

_**The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound**_

_**I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'd ground**_

_**And howl**_

Those arms that are now chained used to hold me. They used to make me feel safe and warm. Sometimes, I dreamed I was still in them, though I knew that would never happen. His soft pure skin stretched perfectly over his muscles, holding me in the safety I thought they brought. Now I see how dangerous that was.

But sometimes, late I night, I didn't care. I know, because of these thoughts that part of me was beyond help. I was loose and I cannot be tamed by him, or my brother. And while my brother hunts for me, I have hunted down my prey. Maybe I am more wolf-like. Maybe part of me is evil. Part of me needed to die with him. Why is it that I only get partial pleasure every time he cringes in pain? Every time he howls out in agony. Every time I try to kill him, he comes back to torment me more!

When he is in pain, I may be smiling on the outside, but inside, deep down in a place I never want to go, I can hear the same howl of pain in the distance. I don't care about him any more. I had no right to. I had killed his family, and I had laughed while they screamed. I enjoyed his suffering during the day, but dream of him at night. It's wrong and unnatural, just like him.

_**Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers**_

_**Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters**_

_**A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night**_

_**May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright**_

Now, Allison was making the same mistake I had. I don't want her to be torn and broken the way I am. I know what she needs to do. She has to kill him. She may love him, but it will be better for her in the end if she ends it now and embraces destiny before destiny overtakes her and warps her mind. Before she's thirty and torturing him years after their relationship ends.

I don't want this for her. She may think Scott is an innocent boy with beautiful puppy eyes, but even nice werewolf boys will end up hurting their hunter girlfriends. For some, it's not even their faults. It's that blasted moon. But, I am my wolf's moon... so did I create this whole mess that I am in?

_**If you could only see the beast you've made of me**_

_**I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free**_

_**The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound**_

_**I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground**_

No, it wasn't my fault! He did this! He made me what I am. And what am I? I'm a beast. An uncontrolled, wild animal ready for another round of Zap the Werewolf. I went back to my chair, plastered my smiled that hid my feeling on, and flipped the switch.

The howling of pain came from outside, and inside. One was just silent.


End file.
